An email with this subject line ‘Attend a consultation with us at Connected Business Expo and get a voucher of up to £50!’ has just landed in my inbox. It’s fighting for my attention with the other 1200+ messages in there so it needs to stand out as being relevant to me, so how did it do?
OK it got my attention with the offer of a £50 voucher and this bright image that jumped off the page at me
and then what? Nothing! If I hadn’t been a keen student of marketing it would have been in the trash folder in one click. So what’s wrong with this email campaign?
Attention is only the first step, I need to be interested.
The first rule of marketing is that our communication has to grab attention amongst the’noise’ we are bombarded with every day. This email sort of does that but it could be so much better.
It’s often said that we have less than six seconds to grab attention. I don’t know about you but I don’t give every email that lands in my inbox even as much as six seconds unless it grabs my interest. So if the subject line in this email had given me more information about what the ‘up to £50 voucher’ would buy me it would have had the potential to get my attention and interest.
Of course I might not have been interested in the offer but that’s OK because I’m then disqualifying myself from the target market. A well written subject line allows readers to identify whether or not they are interested and therefore whether or not they are our target. Too many people think their mailings have to appeal to everybody. No they do not. They only have to appeal to those who are genuine prospects for the product or service on offer.
Speak to me!
The second rule of marketing is that our message should be about our prospect and not about us. We need to answer the ‘What’s in it for me?’ question as quickly as possible or at least lead people to believe that if they read on we’ll tell them. This message fails miserably.
The headline tries, ‘Get yourself connected…’ but it leads nowhere. I am connected. I have family, friends, colleagues, customers, suppliers etc. I have a land line, a mobile, two computers, a tablet and am on Twitter, Facebook, email and the web every waking hour. I am connected so what are you offering me that I don’t already have?
Sell me the benefits
This message doesn’t give me a single reason for attending this event. It wastes space on telling me the name of the event twice and more space on its former name. The remaining space is wasted on self indulgence ‘The UK’s premier collaborations technology event’. What on earth does that mean? What can I expect to see at the event? Who would benefit from attending? What can they hope to get out of investing the time to attend? What’s in it for me?
Believe it or not this email comes from BT Business, a company in the communications field and one that should know better.
Do you want to do better than this?
If you want an email marketing campaign that works talk to us. Our last campaign had a 64.1% open rate, a click through rate of 16.6% and was making sales within the hour. Call Glenda on +44 20 8991 2767 (8.00a.m to 8.00p.m. GMT please) or email email@example.com